Want updates to go straight to your inbox?

Tuesday, November 30, 2010

I'm alive--but what is life? A look on the Darker side of Nanowrimo

I’m a fan, not a writer. At least I know that by now, but I didn’t before. I did learn something from what happened, at least I can say that. I’m glad that it ended when it did. I can’t sleep at night knowing what could have happened. To my friends, to my family, even, to me. Yeah, when I go to bed and my mind starts to wander, I think of anything, but that. They called it Nanowrimo, I called it—well you’ll find out. It started on a Monday. That’s what my calendar says at least, but in my heart, I know it was already starting. The people were so friendly at first, so nice. Even before it started they pegged me. Tagged me with some cyber spray paint like spider pheromone leading them to me every time. I can’t believe I said, that, too late. I thought they meant what they said, I mean, this is America. Freedom of the press right? Right to bear arms? Something to keep people like that away from kids? Wrong. Freedom to do something….There should never be freedom for people like them.

I still get shivers thinking about it. I guess I have to start at the beginning, it’s not too hard now, but when it gets further on, that’s when, well, it happened.


Monday started with a bang almost literally. School, life, phone calls, you know what it’s like for a highschooler. You heard the phrase,’ If life gives you lemons, make lemonade?’ I’d like to punch whoever said it(in a Christ like way of course), cause they weren’t around to help me. Yeah, I didn’t know, I bit the lemon—and hard. They said that all I had to do was start it, they’d help, they’d encourage me. It sounded good to hear! I wanted to believe it! And I did—for a time. Then it well, sorry, I’m getting ahead of myself. I wanted to belong, look at me, how did it turn out?

So I started on Monday, the words seemed to come, I was pleased, so were they--for awhile. Even the others were fulfilling their end of the bargain, they encouraged me, even wanted the words to come, cheered me on. I did the same for them, it was cool, too cool. I should have known it would never last.

The month continued, and I started to lose sight. No, not literally,  no it’s not that kind of medical story rubbish, but figuratively. The goal, they said it was so attainable! All it took was 1667, the magic number, they hallowed number, that sounds good, but I found it wasn’t any of those, it was the deadly number. Don’t worry, keep reading, the story gets better for you, worse for me.

Life kept coming, they kept contacting me with their prodding, but it was really just well, demands. They were polite then, now I know better, they were biding their time. The words were so subtle, it’s a wonder I caught on at all, but that is now, this was then. So what happened?

Yeah I’m getting to that, it’s hard to explain to an outsider like you. I lived it, I breathed it—I was it. But like I told you(Unless you weren’t listening) the days kept rolling by. I lasted for nine days, nine straight days. Ok, that’s a lie, I don’t need to save face here. I made it maybe five and then I fell under the wheels of their machine. I know, I was on board right? I was with them too, right? How did I fall off? It was a long story—and at the same time short. I’ll give you the abridged version. I don’t expect anyone to read this that long. I got ahead, I ran ahead of the group, I can still hear their encouraging calls now, they lauded my enthusiasm, and I theirs, they were my role models, I wanted to make them proud. I did, and then—it happened, but I can’t tell you about that quite yet, don’t worry we’re getting close.

So yeah, I got ahead---then when their cheers were silenced, well we know what they really were now, simply their laughing at yet another person under the Nanowrimo spell. But their cheers couldn’t reach my ears anymore, I was safe, I was ahead! But the thoughts kept swirling in my head, the indoctrination, the numbers 1667, 3334, 5001, the numbers meant nothing to me anymore. All I knew, all they told me was keep-writing keep going. I had to keep going, and then I stopped.

I know what you’re thinking,  “So? Why do I care if this no name stops?” Yeah. I knew you wouldn’t understand. It’s…too hard to explain, my memory isn’t even very clear at this stage in the story. But sometime around the tenth day, yeah that’s write, oh I mean right, ten days in, I stopped.


I went camping, I refused to make myself pound out the words, they couldn’t reach me when I was camping I thought I was safe—I thought wrong. I thought about them I thought about the manuscript on the computer—not a lot. Worse when we first got into the silence, the pop of a chat bubble, the imaginary chastening at failure to do—it, to write. Then, the voices went away almost as if by magic.  silence, glorious and freeing, living life again without being at beck and call! Glorious freedom I will never accept you without a thought again!!

When I got back, their hounds of literation haunted me, hunted me. And the ceasing of the voices that gave liberation? Gone.  The voices were back, to stay. Peace of mind? Yeah, you guessed it, gone.


So I kept at it, they prodded me, pushed me past my limits. I tried to let them pass by the wayside, to fall over on the side and let them by. I kept telling them, “Thirty thousand, that’s enough. Just—a  break.”

“NO!” They shouted.

 I screamed, I still scream.  I ran, I shiver now.  I walked around the house with shoes untied---something I despise. So I kept going, they rode me, scourged me into movement. But just like those Epic battles, I can’t find any marks on me now, I don’t know how they did it, but they did. How does anything like those people from Nanowrimo do anything?


Like I said, I kept going, I finished. If you can call it that—does an almost dead body hitting the finish line count? It did to them, they said, good job, they congratulated me. They even played it up as if it was my idea, they were good—so good at pretending I almost believed it myself. I bought the lie—at least partially, and yeah, that was when it happened. I waited...seven days I told myself, I was done, it was ok, I finished, just move on with life.


I couldn’t.


When their twisted words worked for other people, they were finishing, they ended, they survived. I didn’t—I couldn’t. They  had done too good of a job. I tried to stop, I wanted to. I don’t know if I could have stopped or not until this day…sometimes I think yes..sometimes no. So yeah, you probably guessed it, I started again.

This time the voices were louder, sleep wouldn’t come, my loved ones began to hide when I walked through the room. Even those with, teaming up with the voices began to wonder, so did I—no, so I should have. I couldn’t think, I couldn’t wonder all. I could do was obey when they said “Word war.” I didn’t want to Word War, I didn’t want to ever see one again, but I couldn’t stop. I trembled walking to my writing spot, but I just  couldn’t stop.



And guess what? I finished again!

But the cost was higher, a  sprained wrist(No joke), blurry eyesight, and a strange attachment to a fight pits fighter named Jaden, as well as the messenger without an anchor, Maria, and her companion, Jason who finds her on the Chillzen streets.

 Yeah, the names mean nothing to you, you’re an outsider, but they mean everything to me. I’m not a writer, I don’t dream about my characters, I don’t have to write. I keep telling myself that. I still do, I have to, I can’t live otherwise. You thought this was going to be a happy story? What gave you that idea? This is life, this is dealing with Nanowrimo, no room for joy. I don’t know where you’re from, but if you ever heard or hear about a group of people that have never known you that are willing to encourage you through this—challenge? The only challenge they know about—is seeing how hard they can push you until you break.

I lasted almost ten days, how long will you last? How long did you last? Is there anyone else regretting Nanowrimo, anyone regretting it’s over? What did you lay down on their table of sacrifice to meet their so called goals. Yeah you know what I mean, what did you give up.  Tell us, tell me, maybe we can finally get some help, shut these guys down for good.




Because you took the absent thinking about doing a second Nano Novel from the careless thought stage to reality. Because you let this timid writer dare to try it.

Because your word wars made finishing possible and--even fun ;) Because your blazing penchants for word wars astounded my entire family. Thanks Jake, thank you so much.

Because the fun time I had word warring with you and the fun I had learning about Nano from someone with much more experiences than myself.
I love Nanowrimo. Write. Drain your brain of all creative energy. Crash into bed. Do it all again the next day.


The Truth of the Matter by Andrew Klavan



The Truth Of The Matter is the Third book in the Homelanders series for YA written by Andrew Klavan. The plot was spell binding, tear jerking, as well as riveting; as you follow Charlie West, a fugitive without a memory of his past. The law wants him for murder, the Homelanders, an Islamic extremist group based in, and recruiting in the states, wants him for betrayal.

His life was normal, he loved his family, his friends, his girlfriend--then Waterman contacted him. Charlie had a mission for his country, he had to be framed for murder, his best friends' murder. His history teacher was a Homelander recruiter, and now a killer, but can he really spring Charlie out of prison?

With a starting plot like that to roll with, I was instantly intrigued!! The book was a wonderful read with many attributes to be lauded. I had a suspicion that his memory flash backs would normally be backed in perhaps another book--but I was horrified to finish it and realize it was a book three! The characters were crafted so exquisitely I was able to easily follow them and identify their personalities with ease!

Bottom line: Great read, encouragment for never giving up, or as the author put it, 'fortitude'.



I received this book free from the publisher through the BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”

Find the book at Deepershopping here.
Find more books like it at Deepershopping here.

Saturday, November 27, 2010

Swords!

Swords Stars! Swords in the Stars!! Sword in the Stars by Wayne Batson is being given away:Find it here!  Check out this(I have heard) Amazingly awesome book and enter the giveaway!



Millard

Thursday, November 25, 2010

Nano!

Hey Guys,

Today...I start again with beating off the lazyness bug that trashed my second Nano start >_< But! On the bright side, my old Nano Account had a happy page :D


And so, now--er well not really now I am starting again on the new Nano. Good luck, and happy finishing!

Wednesday, November 24, 2010

Sneaks

An announcement..about the sneaky sneakiness that's been going on.

A note from Mischelle Black:
I work in a Christian Bookstore and we are having a Sword in the Stars Launch Party/ Birthday party for Wayne Thomas Batson (His birthday is on the 4th of December) and we fans have purchased a hard cover edition of The Door Within and are highlighting, underlining, and writing in the margins of it. The idea is to give him his words back with ours added, telling him how his writing has encouraged, inspired, and blessed us. If you want in on the sneakiness, just send me back your favorite part in The Door Within and tell me what to write or highlight!

If you live locally PLEASE come out and write in the book yourself! On December 4th in Ellicott City we are going to have a lovely cake for him, his family will be there, there are 4 amazing prizes we are giving away, and there's going to be art presented to him AND The Door Within that everyone has signed! Also, I've encouraged people to come in costume! So, hopefully it will be an awesome time. Come out of you can, if you can't, well grab your copy of The Door Within and tell me what you want to highlight or underline and I'll be glad to do that for you and sign your name and write messages in it too! Email me at everlastingscribe@hotmail.com or HisWayEvents@hotmail.com. Or if we're friends, message me on FB Any and all ways will work.


Do it PEOPLE, I am! :D

Millard

Sunday, November 21, 2010

Books

Hey guys!

I wanted to know if there was anything in particular, as far as reading materials that prepared to well for writing historical fiction? Any books that caught your imagination and gave you information to spin off of? Any writers' magazine with helpful tidbits?

Millard

Saturday, November 20, 2010

Happening!

Hey guys!

I've completed my first Amazing race YG event! Woohooo! Full of yelling, not running..fast walking. And guessing! And.We.Owned.
Number one reason? We have a driver that was mind-blowing amazing. He was incredibly competitive and intense, in a good way! :P Last night was a digital search and find, today, a clue by clue hunt :) It was sooo fun! And, like i said, we owned! Team Evoc won :D Hehe, it was soooo fun! Hm, I'm repeating myself? Oh, it was a blast :D I'm going to edit this later with a reading list for myself.


Millard

Friday, November 19, 2010

Oops

Well, I just realized something about Nano..I was going to write a story in first person >_< Anyone else realized a really big goober yet like that? :P


Millard


“Fixed fortifications are monuments to man's stupidity.”

Thursday, November 18, 2010

Fight of Shadows

When I picked up Flight of Shadows, I expected a *fun* genetic experiment or sci-fi thriller book. And even when I was first getting into the story, that's what I thought I'd found. You have a likable protagonist Caitlyn, and a fun loving helper, Razor. A new political realm and a host of original ideas! But what I didn't expect was the language and suggestive themes I found in the book even just up to the halfway mark in the book! I am very disappointed in the content of the book and would not recommend it to anyone I know. Due to this low level of content in the book I put it down at the halfway mark. I've tried to read it, yet I don't believe I can with a clear conscience. Best of luck reading, but I don't recommend this book.

I'd love for you to rank the review! If the review ranking bar doesn't show up, please go here to rank it!



Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Questions~

Hello guys!

Well, I've drawn the winner, and it is.....I wonder how long I can delay telling? I mean, if no one actually cares, then I don't really have to tell ;) But if people do care then I should probably tell. I mean if this book was up in the air for me, I'd want to know, but I'm not you. Why you ask? Oh, because I'm me, not you, and I can't be both of us at the same time. (At least not efficiently)



GOLDARROW!

Congratulations Miss Arrow :) You've won an excellent book! Huzzah! Now I have a question for all the other entrants. I already have two copies of Eternity's Edge--And I was just thinking, Gosh, a second place prize would be cool. What do you think? Should I have another draw today and giveaway a copy of the book? Either way I have a giveaway of it coming up! Just I will either give away one, or two copies at that time :D


What say you?


Millard

Sunday, November 14, 2010

I'm done!

For the first time in my life I've written a book. A real honest to goodness book! A novel of the highest regard! Something that publishers will love! People will come crying on their knees to read it! Begging me to please, pretty please allow them to pay for it! Checks will come rolling in so fast I will need a new mail service to handle it all! I will also need a rubber thimble to prevent hurting my thumb in opening all the checks! Man I'm going to be weighed down with all my newfound glory and wealth! And think, through it all, I may just remember you! Yes, that's right, you.  My novel of 52,119 is done!

  1. Whisper: Who without her incredible support and encouragement I would have never finished this soon, and perhaps never at all. You make spinning a story seem exciting and a real pursuit.
  2. Jake, forever I will remember Jake, someone I want to meet badly! But also someone who kept the spur to my horse when I would have easily spent hours on the computer..on the Underground..and on Facebook. He deserves a medal for keeping the Word Wars going! I love to compete, and he forced me to write! Man, this guy could get a job making writers wright!
  3. Squeaks, you wrote me such an encouraging Nanomail when I was down that your support isn't as easily measured. It's that intangible that makes a person get back on their feet when they are stumbling, falling down, or in my case, screaming in fear of the Nano Deadline. Thanks so much!
  4. Of course, the rest of the wonderful Underground Elves! You don't each have a slot simply because..well, right now there is over 5 thousand of you ;) (A little mod humor there--I hope) But really, I never wrote until the last probably seven of eight months, and something like this well--it would have never passed into my mind as a possibility without you all.
  5. My family, really though, they should have gone up at the top, but I decided that E(for elf) comes before F(for family) though only alphabetically. Thanks guys, without your loving, and *cough* tough support over these last..how many years? Well, I have no doubt that my life would be infinitely harder and more bitter without you. Thanks.
  6. Ok! Now, if I somehow didn't mention you as an elf, or family member, or...uh...something else? Well then I thank you now!!






This contest brought me many things, it brought me the challenge to write something longer than I ever have in my entire life. Some of you may know that the most i've ever written on a story, EVER was like...28 thousand, second longest--around 21 thousand. And nothing else I've ever written has even touched the level of those in length, normally less than five thousand, I like to call myself a short story guy. Well, no more! Now I can officially say I've completed Nanowrimo!!!! WOOHOOO! And in honor of an elf whom mentioned socks..and I unleashed sock eating ants on <_< >_>I present you this picture. No it has not been photo-shopped, yes that is my feet, and YES those are my socks.
I've also been asked about where I write, well I found a desk for sale for ten dollars and bought it! Then I used an old monitor, and tower upstairs plus a mouse and then a keyboard I got for a dollar and twenty five cents :) The chair was already up there..so there it is! The chair is a seriously HARD wooden one that makes you feel as if you've been riding a horse when you are done writing. ;)

And finally, for the first time, I removed the plastic thin cover off my CotSK pocket watch..*sniffle* I did it! I wrote my novel, and you can do it too!!!


Millard



Note: Check back sometime soon for the insane next post.
Note2: The extremely observant reader may find something out from this post I didn't actually state. Can you figure out what happened?

Wayne Batson

Sneak, the definition thereof: 1.) To go or move in a quiet, stealthy way. 2.) A person regarded as stealthy. 3.) An instance of sneaking; a quiet, stealthy movement. 4.) Carried out in a clandestine manner. 5.) Perpetrated without warning

 

Serious sneak event happening, email me. We have only so much time before the authorities come crashing down on this. Get the email to me fast. Tell your friends. Tell your dog. Email me.

~Hiding~

Thursday, November 11, 2010

I have an imbed code widget!!





Yes yes..are you going,Millard--dude, slow down. Anyone can have one...But I have one now! And I've written over 17 thousand in three days, I have license to be excited. So here we go:




WHHOOPPIIEEEE!!!!

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

Word count!

Hey guys!

First off: You were all so encouraging with my last post, I decided I simply must give the good news ;) Oh, also, I got a brilliantly kind Nanomail from Squeaks as well! Thanks :D

So..the good news, I wrote 5 thousand+ words yesterday and registered a PB(personal best) in writing time. At the thirty minute mark I had 2 thousand new words written!! Then I tapered off :( [I finished the chapter!!] So I ended with 3174 words in an hour :D

This this morning, I wrote 3174 words O_O No I didn't try to get the same, twasn't onpurpose :P But I wrote the exact same amount this morning in an hour, as my hour yesterday! So In 1.3(ish) days I've added just over 8300 probably around 8400 words! And! I'm hoping to get another three thousand written this evening.


Anyone free for a word war later!?

Millard

Oulive you life, YOU can make a difference!



Out live your life, by Max Lucado



 Max Lucado’s most recent book, Out Live Your Life-You were made to make a difference,  is another great titled rolled out by this Christian author. He examines the early church, the book of Acts, and who was in the early church making a difference for God. It’s the modern truck driver as Peter, the grocery store clerk as John-Mark. All average Joe’s, making a  non-average impact for God. And the only difference between them and the average man, is the power of God working in their life.  

Even with one glance it’s clear that the book has fun stories, interesting writing, and an impacting message. As you dig deeper the fun stories become meaningful, the interesting writing, just a byproduct of the Christ centered book; and the impacting message? A mainstream theme in the book, as it examines the idea of outliving your life.

Overall, on a scale of one to ten(ten being the best), I would give this book an eight point five. It was an interesting book with a deeper side that went beyond the writing, and turned my thoughts to “Outliving my life”. Thank you Mr. Lucado, keep writing!

Millard

Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from Thomas Nelson Publishers as part of their BookSneeze.com book review bloggers program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commission’s 16 CFR, Part 255 : “Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising.”


Find it at Deepershopping here.
Find more books on spiritual growth on Deepershopping here.

Tuesday, November 9, 2010

Burnt Toast

Gah! Guys! I need help!!!!!! I havne't written for Nano in THREE DAYS! Two were not really my fault..but yesterday WAS! I'm going nuts, I'm toast. Dying, dead to Nano! Heeeeelllpppppp! Do I really want to kill myself trying to catch up!?


HHEEELLLPPPPP

Sunday, November 7, 2010

The Restorer by Sharon Hinck

[The Restorer by Sharon Hinck]

The idea of a mom going to another world and fighting battles in a fantasy world intrigued me to no end. So when I heard about this book..I snapped at the chance to read it! I’ve long read stories about teens going to other worlds and warring, but a MOM!? Well Sharon Hincks constructed a masterpiece in this book. It rings true character, plot, and locationwise. The political positioning is so real it’s almost frightening, and Susan’s reactions echo what I  wonder my own mother would do! The internal conflict and dangers as well as external really add extra depth to the book, as well as the singing and reciting of “The verses” an impressive use of Biblical information without it feeling like you’re reading a verse. The strange and interesting mix of technology and ancient times lends an almost whimsical air to the story and brings yet another angle to look at the books from. All in all, I’d recommend this book to anyone!

I really enjoyed the book and the spiritual themes about God were refreshing and encouraging. Thanks Mrs. Hinck!

You can find this book at Deepershopping here.
You can find other books like it at Deepershopping here.



Disclosure of Material Connection: I received this book free from NavPress Publishers as part of their Blogger Review Program. I was not required to write a positive review. The opinions I have expressed are my own. I am disclosing this in accordance with the Federal Trade Commision's 16 CFR, Part 255: "Guides Concerning the Use of Endorsements and Testimonials in Advertising."